PUBLISHED: OCTOBER 2009
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“Well over 30 million people have read my blog now, and it has broken every blogging record in the Philippines, including unique hits and page reads. No other blog has even come close to these incredible numbers, which I'm very proud of.”
Brian Shane Gorrell |
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“I live proud with my HIV. I rarely have real issues with my status expect for the ignorance that continues to exist all over the world with regards to the new HIV information and facts,” Gorrell says. “You must own your HIV and wear it like a badge of courage. We must not ever be afraid to be free and continue to grow and evolve with our HIV. It truly is a new life.”
In his own words, therefore, Gorrell has become a “very proud HIV-positive writer/blogger/advocate/activist and humanitarian.”
“I’m a deeply devoted vehicle for change. Being such a passionate communicator is easy and my objectives are lofty but achievable nonetheless. Assisting faithfully the HIV/AIDS advocacy community to help eliminate HIV/AIDS related stigma is a primary goal that is closest to my heart,” Gorrell says.
The advocacy has, nonetheless, spread to include “a wide range of issues. Nothing is off limits or out of bounds. I write free with no commercial ties or restraints, which gets me into some trouble at times,” Gorrell says, smiling. But “I always prevail.”
EARLY BEGINNINGS
In hindsight, “I can say with 100% confidence (due to the fact that I was born into a very small homophobic ‘red neck’ infested northern Canadian trailer park town of Thunder Bay) that I’ve spent most of my life’s journey, in one way or another, fighting, battling and advocating against all forms of homophobia and sexually based discrimination. I’ve been beating my ‘I’m gay and fabulous’ drums since my early teens after I’d already endured so many years of torture and hate during my earliest days at school,” Gorrell says. “Having been on the receiving end of juvenile homophobia at such a young age prepared me for my life of advocacy and eventually sowed the seeds for the work I do.”
Gorrell adds: “As soon as I was old enough, I found myself rallying hard for more honest tolerance, unconditional understanding and complete compassion from all those around me not just for myself, but for my entire global GLBTQIA family. I craved early for a more altruistic acceptance toward any individuals who might find themselves positioned ‘outside’ of what society deemed to be ‘normal’.”
The “serious” advocacy, nonetheless, started in 2001, when Gorrell was diagnosed with HIV.
“I felt or rather I knew immediately, that I had a much bigger purpose in life, which was to help others who were perhaps not as equipped as I was when coming to terms with their own diagnosis and the stigma more often than not attached to it,” he says.
The notion of having a hard life, but still having it better than others has been, to Gorrell’s recollection, influenced by a fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Felix, “who was the first black person I’d ever seen in my life,” Gorrell recalls. “One day, only minutes before lunch bell, I said out loud – and obnoxiously I’m sure – for my classmates to hear, ‘I’m so starving.’ Upon hearing this, my teacher Mrs. Felix, in all her black African goddess glory, proceeded to approach my desk with a look of total and utter disgust (which I can still clearly see when I close my eyes) on her face. ‘Brian,’ she bellowed as she glared directly at me, ‘you are NOT starving young man, you are simply famished.’ I knew on that very day, because of this amazing special teacher, that I actually had it so much better than many other kids in the world.”
Gorrell remains a friend of Mrs. Felix, the person to teach him “the big difference between being starved as opposed to being famished – and there is a BIG difference,” he says.
Deciding to become an advocate has not been difficult.
“The decision to become a passionately driven full time HIV/AIDS advocate came very naturally to me, almost automatic, in fact,” Gorrell says, even if he laments that “the extreme exposure can be difficult at times due to the ‘sense’ of total loss of privacy, especially when I feel I’m sorely lacking it. I do feel over exposed at times and worry that people only perceive me as an HIV positive man due to my advocacy for change.”
The over exposure is needed, nonetheless, since even if “there is so much more to me than just my HIV status,” Gorrell says, “I continue to do battle against the old world stereotypes which are continually being perpetuated all around the globe (for people to realize the seropositive status is just an aspect of a seropositive individual).”
Gorrell is the first to admit his goals are lofty. “My objectives are so lofty because there is so much to be done. I need to help people come to terms with not only being HIV positive, but also how to move forward with the news,” he says, wanting to effect changes because “I dealt with it so well on my own; I’m a strong powerful guy when it comes to being honest about my HIV status.”
But the advocate believes “I’m already starting to achieve my main goals. Actually, I started to achieve them the very first day I began advocating against HIV related stigma. I feel my biggest achievement so far is having reached out and being accepted by the Philippines HIV advocacy community as well as other global advocates who write me asking me for help and my opinions. The thousands of e-mails I receive provide me with all the impetus I need to continue advocating and education people who need it.”
Gorrell adds: “I only want to help others now. I want HIV to be sexy. I want people to change their perception of it. And I am determined to do just that by showing people how healthy and happy I am every day. I want to smash those stereotypes into a million little pieces.”
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