PUBLISHED: OCTOBER 2009

BRIAN SHANE GORRELL TAKES IT ALL OFF FOR HIV AWARENESS
“As soon as I was old enough, I found myself rallying hard for more honest tolerance, unconditional understanding and complete compassion from all those around me not just for myself, but for my entire global GLBTQIA family.  I craved early for a more altruistic acceptance toward any individuals who might find themselves positioned ‘outside’ of what society deemed to be ‘normal’.” Brian Shane Gorrell

LOVING LOVE

Gorrell is in a loving serodiscorant relationship now – i.e. he is HIV positive, his partner is seronegative.  “Of course I am very concerned from time to time with regards to my relationship. My boyfriend is HIV negative so we face our own set of hurdles, which we jump over every single day,” he says.  So “we have to work constantly on our relationship, which everyone has to do if you want it to last forever. You must find that special person who completes you and work constantly at it.  I’m so proud of my relationship and I’m honoured to have a Filipino partner.”

Gorrell adds: “And you must practice VERY safe sex, which means blowjobs with condoms. I don’t ever want to give my boyfriend HIV so we are extremely careful and yet we still have an incredible AMAZING sex life. HIV does NOT stop you from having great sex. You must just be very mindful of your HIV negative partner.”

“I believe in true love and everlasting love, and that would never change,” he says.  “Love and stupidity got me into the mess I found myself in (in 2008).  However, having said that, I would NEVER let another person stop me from achieving bliss in my life. I made a mistake and I learned a very valuable lesson – my mistake cost me $70,000, (but) I believe it to be the most important lesson I’ve learned in life so far, and I will never ignore my gut instincts again. The destructive man in question already took everything from me, and I was not about to let him stop me from moving on with another Filipino lover. My relationship with my current partner is the very thing that helped me recover and stand tall again. My beautiful relationship reminded me that not everyone is evil.”

Gorrell’s lover, Emmanuel, just moved to be with him in Canada, where he now works at an exclusive resort in British Columbia.  The two plan to wed before the end of 2009.

“We’re so excited to start our new life together here.  The best thing about being in a relationship is being loved so deeply. I need to be loved because I’m so insecure, generally, as a person. With a boyfriend, I feel wonderful and happy because I hate being alone. The relationship I am in now is full of life force and passion and I’ve never been happier in my life,” Gorrell says.

HEAD ON

The GLBTQIA community, says Gorrell, still has much to achieve.  “Until a transgendered person can walk into a restaurant in Greenbelt (at Ayala Center, Makati City) without being harassed or refused entry, there is still so much to be done. I feel the lack of concern for our transgendered brothers and sisters is both upsetting and shocking, (so much so that) we should boycott and march (against) the establishments that refuse to allow our GLBTQIA family through their doors simply because they are not dressed ‘normal,’” Gorrell says, adding that while the Philippines is very tolerant of homosexuals, “it is still a very homophobic country as long as (it is generally accepted that God is supposed to have said that) we are all going to hell.”

On being gay, “I’ve always been a fiercely open proud gay kid, teenager, and now adult. I grew up in an environment where you had to be loud in order to be heard, which suited me fine. I’ve never allowed society to squash my determination to live my life to its fullest potential with both dignity and purpose,” Gorrell says. “God made me gay so I am His glorious creation, born of His eye and His magnificent heart. It’s as simple as that. I’m living the life God wanted me to live – a life full of love, consideration, and deep compassion for others who may need some education, information, assistance, and, of course, comfort.  I have a sense of duty to live the life God wanted me to live. A life to serve others the best way I know how. My challenge is to live God’s will, and to make Him proud of me.”

On his life thus far, Gorrell says he has no regrets. “I’ve absolutely no regrets. None whatsoever because every decision I ever made has brought me to this wonderful place where I find myself today. I’m thrilled with where I am in life, and immensely proud of my HIV advocacy work. I’m in love with the most incredible man and my friends and family love and support me. I lost my life savings to a man who swindled me and I never thought I would recover. But I have and I’m thrilled,” he says.

It is also good to note, he adds, of the “many positive things in our global GLBTQIA community, (e.g.) I’m deeply inspired by other HIV positive people who are not afraid to be open and free with their knowledge and journey; I am deeply inspired by unselfish people, who freely help others in desperate need of emotional support, tolerance, honesty, compassion and understanding; et cetera.”  

For now, the focus continues to be on increasing awareness on HIV and/or AIDS – particularly in the Philippines.  “My most immediate goal is simple. I want to be there for anyone who is having problems with their HIV status no matter where they live in the Philippines,” Gorrell says.  “So much of my work happens behind the scenes, answering hundreds and hundreds of emails full of questions posed by others not as informed as I.  Perhaps they are scared and in me they find a friend who they can trust.”

It is, Gorrell says, ignorance that continues to make people infected and/or affected by HIV and/or AIDS suffer.  “HIV related stigma is killing people. Carriers are too afraid to tell other people they are HIV positive and this MUST stop. No shame. No shame. No shame,” Gorrell says, adding as a message to would-be advocates that “there is nothing more rewarding or fulfilling then helping others through advocacy. Information and education is the key. The more people we have out there in the advocacy community, the better. People thrive on the honesty of others so please share your experiences with those around you because you never know whom you could be helping.”

Brian Shane Gorrell is running the Anti Stigma Campaign.
Visit Brian at:
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http://twitter.com/TheBrianGorrell
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