No, it does not define our idea of masculinity as much as the arms.  No, it does not spell SEXY – at least not as much as having six to eight-pack abs.  No, it is not necessarily what we look at first when picking someone up – we tend to look at the front first (face, body, cock size) before the back, after all.

But, no, it is not unimportant.

We’re talking about butts (glutes for gym rats, for gluteus maximus and gluteus medius), of course.

WATERMELONS, ANYONE? Might as well be, since the ass can be just as yummy when properly developed.

Thing is, beauty is a package – if/when we see an Adonis with his god-like body, only to see “imperfections” once he’s naked, just before you get it on with him, then, poof!, the passion’s gonna go, no matter the god-like persona.  Who can bear to even look at, say, a Brad Pitt (Fight Club or Troy days) with a Will Ferrel (what’s that figure skating flick of his again?) ass?  I may if only for a while – but once we intend to do something else, no, I don’t want to see what he’s got under his clothes anymore.  It would be like doing it with Julian Armanis, except that he’s got Borat’s ass for you to cling on.  Or Jeff Palmer with Jack Black’s ass grip (in that wrestling comedy flick of his).  No, no, no!

Good things is, with patience (and hard work – don’t forget hard work), getting a bubble butt is possible.  Here are glutes routines from Owen Dukes of the American Health and Fitness (ahfmag.com) – weightless, so not only gym rats can do them, as everybody deserves (and can definitely have) those bubble butts.

BODY BRIDGES

A good starting movement, stretching as well as training the glutes.

Lie flat on your back, knees bent.  Lift your hips off the floor, and squeeze the glutes. As hard as can be done, hold the contraction. Return to basic position, then repeat to failure.  And, oh, make sure the back stays straight throughout the exercise.

GLUTES KICKBACKS

Perfect for developing not just shape, but also strength, start this exercise on “all fours, with one leg extended on the floor, the sole of the foot parallel with the ceiling, (and the knee floating) just above the floor.  For each rep, raise your leg as high as you can, making sure your foot is at least higher than your head.  Contract your glutes throughout the full range of motion,” the Dukes says.  And, by the way, “you can vary which part of your glutes you work by manipulating where your toes are pointing – outward to emphasize the outer glutes, inward for the inner.”

REVERSE LEG LIFTS

A variation of the Glutes Kickback (above), do this standing.  “Brace yourself using the top of a chair, standing straight.  Lift one leg as high and as far behind you as possible,” squeezing the “glutes tightly, while keeping the other leg relatively straight.  Bring the raised leg back to the floor, and repeat.”  This is part of why ballet dancers’ ass are tight, tight, tight.

FREESTANDING SQUATS

With arms extended in front while standing (feet planted shoulder-wide apart), squat until the thighs are parallel to the ground (note: the knees shouldn’t go past the toes – and do keep the back straight).  When raising up, “focus on pushing up through your heels – this will direct the work toward your glutes,” the Dukes says, stressing this is a “perfect rounding out of your routine” as it imitates “many regular daily activities.”

Any time, I would rather be called tight ass than fat ass.  Wouldn’t you want to, too?

*Yes, there are chubby chasers among us.  But being chubby is a package, too – they tend not to like their guys half-chubby, e.g. great abs with big butt, bad ass arms with double chin, et cetera.  So the idea of making the parts work together (all chubby, or all toned) works all the same.

TIPS TO GREAT GLUTES
ahfmag.com

• Flex hard and hold.  Flex the muscle you’ve worked on right after finishing the exercise for at least a count of 10 – this helps develop strength.
• False rest times.  To increase power and endurance, do the “exercise to failure,” i.e. just breathe deeply for five counts, then do as many more reps as you can – don’t stop until you reach failure.
• Controlled reps.  Take 12 seconds for the completion of the positive phase of a rep; six for the negative.  This helps build strength, too.
• Concentrated contractions.  Focus on keeping the muscles concentrated all throughout the movement.