Cheating Game

The Cheating Game
By E.O. Azucena

“It was a scene straight out of a dramatic movie,” Lovely D.A., 25, recalled – now able to give a sardonic smile while looking back at the experience, though, he claimed, he used to be so affected by the experience it almost ruined his life. Lovely D.A. came home from work earlier than usual one day to surprise Amar, his boyfriend of only six months then – he just quit his job, and he thought he needed some kind of moral support while trying to put things in perspective. But soon as he entered the house, he “somehow sensed something wasn’t right – maybe it’s just me, but there was an eerie silence that seemed to envelope everything.” Gay guy’s intuition or not, true enough, when Lovely D.A. reached their bedroom, Amar was “dancing horizontally” with his best friend. “As if finding out wasn’t painful enough, when we had a talk later, Amar put all the blame on me – that it was I who drove him to cheat because I was often cold to him, I didn’t really satisfy him sexually, I didn’t return the intensity of his feelings, et cetera,” Lovely D.A. said. “But I’d like to think that all that’s in the past now.”


TEMPTATION ISLAND. Is it worth it?

“Infidelity is a sign of something being wrong,” Deborrah Cooper, author of How to Tell If Your Man is Cheating... And What to Do About It!, said. “Admittedly, some men are womanizers (and vice versa) and what is wrong with them is that they have issues with commitment and intimacy that they refuse to deal with and escape into a fantasy relationship with another (partner) time after time. Other men (or women), though, are seeking something they feel is missing in their primary relationship – understanding, excitement in bed, a partner that is challenging to them, et cetera.”

Thus, SingleScene.net, an online counselling service provider, added: “There is probably not a simple answer to why (people) cheat since each case is unique in its own way. As such, every case must be treated differently.”

BIG CHEAT

Interestingly, the reasons most often cited for infidelity have not changed over time: Pure sex. Pure and simple, some may cheat simply for sex. Some, particularly men, is “able to have sex with another without having feelings for that sexual partner, or without affecting the emotions for the partner,” SingleScene.net stated.

For some, it’s to boost the ego, since having sex with another partner aside from the regular one means one is still desirable. As SingleScene.net stated: “The more men he has, the bigger the boost. If you don't believe us, just listen to guys talking about sex, they are more likely to talk about quantity rather than quality.”

Similarly harking back to the “very basics of male instincts,” guys who collect “trophies” continue doing so even when already married “as a means of proving themselves to other guys and to themselves.”

And then for some, it’s a way to satisfy the need for excitement. “Sometimes a relationship can squash that excitement, no matter how good the relationship,” SingleScene.net stated.

But then again, there are some who cheat mainly because they can.

LEARNING LESSONS

“Trust is one of the most important ingredients in (any relationship),” Cooper said. “When infidelity, or even the suspicion of infidelity rears its ugly head, that trust is violated.” And when this happens, something needs to be done.

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