The Cheating Game
By E.O. Azucena

First is to identify the existence of the problem.  A partner may be up to something if he:

• No longer wants to have sex, or couldn’t seem to stand being romantic.
• Suddenly has to work late and has all kinds of new obligations that take him/way from home or one’s company repeatedly.
• Gets mysterious phone calls, prefers taking calls out of your earshot, or, if that’s not possible, whispers while talking.
• Discouraged from ever looking at the mobile phone.
• Arrives home and runs straight into the bath or shower without even a simple physical contact with the boyfriend.
• Has strange hairs on his clothing or in his car, especially if he can’t explain their presence.
• Gets extremely nice all of a sudden, particularly if it’s out of his character.
• Breaks dates, stands date up, shows up hours late with no reasonable explanation.
• Starts to dress differently, and/or does or requests wildly different things in bed.
• Begins to be abusive all of a sudden.
• Gets cleaned up and shaved to go fishing, gets too dressed up to watch TV with the barkada, or reeks of perfume though only going to the wet market.
• Changes his established routine with no plausible reason.
• Becomes suddenly forgetful and need to be told everything thrice.

However, a suspicion will always only be a suspicion, unless it is verified by the people involved.  And since the signs may also signify other problems, it is relevant for the parties involved to communicate.  This remains to be the best way to discuss what really is the problem in the relationship.

The second step, therefore, is confrontation.  “With infidelity, it is difficult to find the middle ground between denial and overreaction,” Cooper said, “particularly since the stakes involved are high.”  Nonetheless, this is very important – and to be able to reach that point, an important step is to be able to meet the problem head-on.  “If you are sure he is cheating, confront him immediately. Don't wait until you catch him in the act with his drawers down!”

And lastly, resolve.  What happens after the confrontation is entirely up to the people involved.

In the end, “the issue rotates around how well you love yourself,” Lovely D.A. said.  “If you know your partner will always be a cheater and still choose to stay in the relationship, then put up with the hardships that come your way until your partner gets tired of his/her fling, or of you.  You are not entitled to complaining at all, since you know the facts yet choose to tolerate them.  But if you choose to leave and move on, good on you.  At least you’ll have a chance to start over again, with someone who truly deserves your trust.”

He should know – Lovely D.A. has long left Amar, and is looking at “starting afresh.”