Sexually referred to as a bottom (the receptive anal sexual partner), Kim C. prefers barebacking (unprotected sex, i.e. anal penetration without condom), what he thought is the “best way to have great sex.”  “Wrapping a penis with a condom (is bothersome for me) – aside from having to put (a condom) on, which can be tedious, it never feels natural, too, with the penis inside me wrapped in plastic so that I can’t really feel his skin contacting my skin, so I can’t fully enjoy sex,” he says.  “Balat sa balat (Skin to skin), that’s always preferable.”

SAFER SEX A MUST. Even when partners are both HIV positive, safer sex is still recommended.

It, therefore, didn’t come as a big surprise when he tested HIV positive.  “It most certainly wasn’t a welcome development, but, hey, I lived an (unsafe) life, what did I expect (to get for living like that)?” Kim C. says.  Then, with a laugh, he adds: “I sure wish I used my head more than I used my dickhead though.”

The interesting thing is, now that he is positive, Kim C. actually continues to bareback.  “I’m already positive, anyway, so what else could I still get?” he says.  “I am no longer at risk to acquire anything; I already have the worst that can be acquired.  So why use a condom now, when it’s already too late for me, and not enjoy sex?”

This is the very notion that sexual health educators would like to change, stressing on two important points.

On the one hand, Kim C. is, of course, putting other people at risk to be infected by HIV and AIDS – a reprehensible act, particularly if no disclosure is done (if his sexual partners were not made aware of his seropositive status). 

According to the Remedios AIDS Foundation Inc. (RAFI) in Counselling Persons with HIV and AIDS, “although it is possible to have sex that puts one life or ones self-esteem in danger, it is not realistic to think one can do that indefinitely.  Even more importantly, it is not desirable to have to do that even once.  (You) can have healthy, safer sex.”

The thinking that “ako naman ang pinapasok (I’m the one being penetrated), so there’s no real risk for them,” as Kim C. puts it, is erroneous, since fuckers and fuckees are both at risk.

On the other hand, just because one is seropositive doesn’t mean one has to be lenient.

“It is a good idea for people with HIV and AIDS (PHAs) to engage in safer sex even when with other people who are seropositive like themselves.  There are two reasons for this precaution: 1) Possible re-infection; and 2) The possibility that people with different viral loads may negatively infect/affect each other,” RAFI states.

The possibility of re-infection (actually correctly called super-infection, the getting infected with other HIV strains) and how different viral loads (the measure of concentration of free virus, or those not inside cells, in the blood) can infect/affect each other are medical issues yet to be proven beyond reasonable doubt.  But RAFI insists that “because of the possibility of (cross contamination), it is a good idea to engage in safer sexual practices even if partners are both HIV positive.”

The issue now for barebackers is the “balat sa balat” feel that condom use is believed to inhibit.

Anecdotal evidences show that if partners are not aware of condom use, there are no changes in the “balat sa balat” feel when having sex. 
Darryl A., a participant of a sexual health workshop conducted by the TLF Share Collective Inc. [(0063+2) 7517047], a support organization for men who have sex with men (MSM), recalls how “we were thought how to playfully place condom on a dick with the mouth, done during foreplay while giving a head job,” he says.

This is because anecdotal evidences show that “when fuckers do not know a condom was put on them, they were not able to tell any differently when they fuck.”

“Unless, of course, if you have in front of you a 14-inch dick, and you use a regular sized condom, which would be a stupid, stupid act,” Darryl A. laughs.  “Here, you’d have to use your head – up here, not the one below there.”