Deco 101
Expressing Gay Living Without Screaming Gay
By E. GiGi A. Olorga

Remember that scene in To Wong Foo: Thanks for Everything, From Julie Newmar, when, with the Wonder Woman soundtrack playing in the background, Noxeema Jackson, Vida Boheme, and ChiChi Rodriguez dressed up the room they were going to be stuck at for a few days?

BEAUTY IS UNIVERSAL No, just because you are gay doesn't mean your house should be screaming. Class can be found in finesse - removal of that fully sequined lamp, hiding of that kangaroo skin carpet, buying non-plastic dining set, et cetera.

As if with Mary Poppins’ bag, they pulled out something feathery, something glittery, something silky, something of everything to redecorate the room – proof of gay people’s ingenuity (I know of gowns made from pebbles, and from dried leaves, and from coconut husks, and from freshly harvested anahaw leaves, believe me!), though also proof of how, even among gays, good taste is rare, and is never, ever a given.

Fully sequinned table cloth?  Glass bust atop the TV on a swivelling entertainment center?  Fake Peter Berlin prints, complete with the logo of the store that faked it for you?  Floral dining sets – all plastic? A resounding “no” to one, a resounding “no” to all.

In Room Service: Decorating 101, Andrew Trimboli writes for Planet Out (planetout.com) that there's no such thing as "showroom chic."  “Just because it looks a certain way in the stores doesn't mean you need to buy the entire room, right down to the last artfully placed tan ottoman.  You're not Patrick Bateman, and there's no need to pretend to be.”

Gay decorating, at its most basic, demands for the “inoffensive” – the word all gays need to make sure that they do not use, or even closely approach.  This means out with the kangaroo rugs from somewhere in the middle of Down Under (they are more than cruel – unless you live in a ranch in Australia, or live somewhere resembling the same, they are really inappropriate elsewhere except as unnecessary display items); out with the uniform giant banga (jar) from Vigan (great for landscaping the two-hectare garden at the back of the house though...); and out with engraved export quality mirrors from Cavite (unless you live in Imelda Marcos’ Coco Palace).

This doesn’t mean for the minimalist approach to necessarily be applied – it’s a house you’re decorating, not a museum.  “Your house shouldn't look like an icebox, even if you claim to have a minimalist sensibility.  Clutter is cool.  So is dust,” Trimboli says.

In fact, aside from being decorative, “lamps, objets d'art, wall hangings, and even fish tanks can be great talking points at your next cocktail party.  Before your guests start looking at each other, they need to look at the inanimate objects around them.  Put stuff on your walls without fear. Give them something to talk about,” he adds.

The secret is in mixing things up – again, choosing pieces that are inoffensive.  At least generally (not everyone will like what you have, believe me).  Well framed Tom of Finland prints (if you can get an original, somuch the better - otherwise, check other artworks from, say, Top & Bottom, Ma. Orosa corner J. Nakpil St. in Malate, Manila; as well as your nearest photographer friend).  Well kept saltwater aquarium.  Earth toned suede (if not leather) sofa.  Paper lanterns. Bamboo rugs.  The options are limitless.

Interestingly, these need not be expensive.  A yard of fabric to turn to drapes/curtains only costs from P55 in Carolina’s (Dian corner Arellano St., Makati City).  That gigantic woven fishing equipment that can be converted into a lamp at some corner of the house only costs P600 or so from Silahis (in Intramuros, city of Manila).  And those paper lanterns can be bought for under P500,depending on size, from Ikea (order through travelling friends) or some shops at the home zones of SM MegaMall (Quezon City) or Glorietta (Makati City).

Some other things Trimboli believes should be remembered when decorating: Leave the entranceway alone (“There's no need to ram it full of stuff to overwhelm guests with your decorating personality,” he says); keep the top of the TV empty (“TV is to be watched – not the things on top of it.  It is not a pedestal”);and remove the (offensive) product stickers (“MADE IN...”) (“It doesn't look good”).

Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean we have to scream it – even if the screaming is only done through our decorative choices.  There is, truly, such a thing as taste; and us gays should be at the forefront of putting it in practice.

If it’s any consolation, you can try and try and try.  After all, as Trimboli himself says: “Guests will be talking about your ingenuity for ... um ... seconds.”  So keep on trying, until you finally, finally get it right.