On Domestic Violence in GLBTQI Relationships
Love Hurts?
By M.D. dela Cruz Tan
PUBLISHED: AUGUST 2010

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The first time Raymond E.* told me about his “literally hurtful” relationship with Jake C.*, his boyfriend of over five years, he had chain marks all over his legs – the marks that would be left if you were hit by the metal chains Filipinos usually use as leash for dogs.  These are the “results of his love for me,” he said to me, smiling sardonically. 

Alas, no, he didn’t want any help from me; he just wanted to have someone to talk to, particularly since none in his family knew of his sexuality, much more of their relationship, so “I’m on this all by myself,” he said.

Raymond E., disappointingly, did not break up with Jake C.  In fact, Raymond E. was the one to insist that “maybe, I deserved what I got – I shouldn’t do things that displeases (Jake C.).”  He, thus, “should just put up with what (he) does to me; try to make this relationship work.”

Not surprisingly, he visited me again. 

And again. 

And again. 

And at different times, he sported different “symbolizations of his affectation to me,” Raymond E. said, referring to (at one time or another), a huge bruise on his cheek, puffy lips, slap marks, scratch marks, swollen eyes, and yes, more chain marks (not just on his legs, but also on his arms, on his back, and on his neck).
And still he chose – still chooses – to stay with Jane C.
This is, of course, a classic case of a domestically violent relationship.
And it happens among GLBTQIAs, too.

LOCAL, LOCAL

On February 14, 2009, when loving – not hurting – was supposed to be celebrated on St. Valentine’s day, the Philippine Daily Inquirer published an article highlighting the increase of domestic violence in the country. 

Then, according to the Philippine National Police (PNP) Women and Children Protection Center Chief Superintendent Yolanda Tanigue, there remained an “alarming” increase in the incidence of domestic violence (in an observed period in 2008).  In fact, from 6,647 incidents of violence against women in 2007, the PNP WCPC reported 7,864 cases in 2008.  These include incidents involving violations of Republic Act 9262 (Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004), which increased from 2,387 cases in 2007 to 3,599 cases in 2008.

There was also a noted increase in crimes against children, from 6,688 in 2007 to 8,588 in 2008.  And of these cases, 2,981 cases involved rape, 1,450 physical injuries; 876 acts of lasciviousness; and 229 incestuous rapes.

It is no wonder that the Amnesty International, in a report filed this time in the Philippine Star, noted that domestic violence is still “pervasive” in the Philippines despite the passage of a law that supposedly prohibits violence against women and children.

“Domestic violence in our country remains pervasive despite an anti-violence against women and children law. Stories of women who courageously broke their silence about domestic violence show that protection by government from violence of husbands or other intimate partners has not completely eradicated traumatic experiences in the family,” Aurora Corazon Parong, section director of AI-Philippines, was quoted as saying.

In Breaking the Silence, Seeking Justice in Intimate Partner Violence in the Philippines, a report released by AI-Philippines and Women Working Together to Stop Violence Against Women, it was noted that while RA 9262 is a significant law for women because many of its provisions prohibit discrimination and violence against women, especially those in an intimate relationship, there remain many loopholes in the implementation of the law.  “Protection of women’s rights does not end with the enactment of a law. It needs a follow through in implementation,” Parong said.

FULL FIGURES

That domestic violence is an encompassing concern goes without saying.

Citing cases from various sources, the American Bar Association (New.abanet.org) noted that, among others: nearly 25% of women and 7.6% of men were raped and/or physically assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or dating partner/acquaintance at some time in their lifetime (Tjaden & Thoennes from Extent, Nature, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence, 2000); approximately 1.3 million women and 835,000 men are physically assaulted by an intimate partner annually (Tjaden & Thoennes from Full Report of the Prevalence, Incidence, and Consequences of Intimate Partner Violence Against Women: Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, 2000); and intimate partner violence made up 20% of all nonfatal violent crime experienced by women, and 3% for men in 2001 (rennison, 2003).

Worth noting is the occurrence of violence in among men and women.
And with this, worth pointing out is the occurrence violence not just in heterosexual relationships, but within same sex partnerships, too.

Again citing cases from various sources, the American Bar Association (New.abanet.org) noted that, among others: 11% of lesbians reported violence by their female partner and 15% of gay men who had lived with a male partner reported being victimized by a male partner (Tjaden,2003); there are significantly more intimate partner violence among same sex relationships than opposite-sex cohabitants – among women, 39.2% of the same-sex cohabitants and 21.7% of the opposite-sex cohabitants reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by a marital/cohabiting partner at some time in their lifetime (op cit., Tjaden & Thoennes); and some 15.4% of same-sex cohabiting men reported being raped, physically assaulted and/or stalked by a male partner (10.8% such violence by a female partner) (ibid.).

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