Fuck Buddies

Fucking Friends
The Fuck Buddy System
By Kiki Tan

Safer Oral Sex

J.J. Lambo met R.L. Lagdameo through Gay.com, which enabled them to “form what can be called a relationship that is mutually beneficial, but (has) no strings attached (to it),” he says. “After (first) meeting up for coffee, we (went over my place to) fuck. It’s been like that for some time now.”

What J.J. Lambo and R.L. Lagdameo are, are fuck buddies (FBs) – generally defined as people who meet only for recreational sex sans the mushy lovey-dovey affectations that usually come with the relationships formed by those looking for something more than, well, fuck. It’s a commitment-less sexual relationship, in not so many words – and it’s something that is actually gaining ground, from fictional Samantha Jones’ Sex and the City exploits to the likes of J.J. Lambo and R.L. Lagdameo, who, aside from having each other, actually also have FBs from other sources, including call centers close to where he lives for J.J. Lambo, and other online gay sites for R.L. Lagdameo.

BUDDY SYSTEM

Josey Vogels, writing in My Messy Bedroom for ffwdweekly.com, refers to the “system” as “being alone together." “I thought (that’s) a nice way of putting it, because an FB is someone to be with when you're both alone, someone you like having sex with even though you know it will never be a relationship. Or especially because it will never be a relationship,” he says, adding that “when you're single, having a good FB can be a beautiful thing. You get regular sex, affection, and someone to hang with, all with no strings attached.”

In a world too obsessed with terminologies, FBs can actually be grouped into sub-groups. Or so says blogger Mr. Ethical Slut in Booty Call, Fuck Buddy, or Friend with Benefits? (datingthoughts.com).

“Since there are many more types of relationships than before, figuring out where one stands is more challenging. Recognizing the terms of a relationship can help keep expectations realistic, and in turn keeps you in control,” he says.

There’s the one night stand (ONS), usually confined within a 24-hour period. “As the name designates, this is a one-time thing. Common feelings associated with an ONS are ‘Wanting to get it out of my system,’ ‘I was so trashed,’ ‘Why not,’ ‘It was just on,’ and ‘Everything just fell into place,’” Mr. Ethical Slut says. “Having sex again after the 24-hour period would change the relationship into a different type
Then there’s the booty call, a more regular sexual partner, but is still limited to just sex. With this, “you’re on the same sexual page. Time spent predominantly engaging in or preparing for sex. There is no dating or hanging out. Rarely do you see booty calls spending time in public together. After sex, spending the night is not obligatory and often discouraged. There is an understanding that each person is in the relationship for just sex. Booty calls are not interested in a romantic relationship with each other. Therefore, dating other people is acceptable and each other’s dating life is usually kept private. To keep the relationship on a sex-only level, getting to know one another on an emotional level is avoided,” Mr. Ethical Slut continues.

And then there’s the FB, wherein the FBs actually cross paths outside the bedroom. “FBs are able to be with each other in public. They often bump into each other at the same parties, bars, and clubs. But FBs will seldom make plans with each other. (Sexual) meetings are usually more spur of the moment or if there is nothing better happening,” Mr. Ethical Slut says, adding that “FBs are social play friends (with the) relationship is built on fun, casualness, and sex.”

	1 \| 2