Group Games
By Kiki Tan
PUBLISHED: APRIL 2009

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In 2001, when James M. Arrived in Makati City from Sydney, where he had been living for over seven years, he was filled with “apprehensions – as a part-Filipino, I was, in a way, coming home; but I was also, in more ways, an expat moving to a new place, considering that most of my growing-up years were spent in Australia,” he says.  “I was still entering a completely new world.”

And that was what he did, actually, seeing “that the GLBTQIA world is completely different in the Philippines – in (my home province, upon knowing I’m gay, all relatives) expected me to start cross-dressing, as if being gay automatically means transgenderism, or even transvestism; and in Metro Manila, among other cosmopolitan places, I have been ‘attacked’ by fellow GLBTQIAs for not being gay enough, or for being too gay, depending on which pa-ghirl or pa-mhinta group,” James M. says.  “It was all so confusing.”

Help for James M. came in the forms of “social support groups (e.g. Gay Men’s Support Group and TLF Share Collective), SMS-based clans, and Web-based barkada, among others.”

And so the value of “joining groups came to focus (for me),” adds the once-shy, reclusive even, James M.  “If in the past I thrived on being alone, here and then, I realized the applicability of the cliché ‘No man is an island,’” he adds with a loud laugh.

Support is, of course, but one of the pros of joining (or even forming) groups.

Sociology, according to knowledgerush.com, defines a group as “a collection consisting of a number of people who share certain aspects, interact with one another, accept rights and obligations as members of the group, and share a common identity.”

The emphasis is on sharing, since “more than simply comprising a number of people, a group exhibits cohesiveness to a larger degree, (with some of the) aspects that members in the group may share including interests, values, ethnic/linguistic background, and kinship,” elaborates knowledgerush.com.

Groups vary, of course – from primary (coined by Charles Horton Cooley to refer to small intimate – usually kin-based – relationships) to secondary (larger, as these are usually more formal/institutional).  No matter the form, though, the focus, according to Bette Daoust, Ph.D., author of Blueprint for Networking Success and Blueprint for Branding Yourself (blueprintbooks.com), should be in “defining your purpose for joining a group.  When you make the decision to join a group, you should make sure that you have a clear understanding of what you would like to gain from the group. If you are there for business only, then you should make sure that you have as much to give others as you expect to get from the group. If, on the other hand, you are there to develop your social skills and gain good relationships with the other members then, you should make time to get to know the members first before you join.”

Daoust adds: “If you want to have lasting relationships built through such an organizations, then you should endeavor to provide information, insights and leads to others in the group.”

For GLBTQIAs, groups are inarguably important, as “they provide what my family is unable to do,” James M. says.  “And not just because they’re in Sydney, but because I’m gay, which, even if they know, they are unable to relate with; something my group mates do.”

Some of the other reasons commonly cited when joining (or organizing) groups include business networking and honing leadership skills, though, for Daoust, the reasons are all interrelated.

As for James M., “that you find some sense of comfort when in a group is more than reason enough to be in one,” he says.  “It’s now all in the matter of properly selecting which one suits you best.”

Outrage Magazine takes a look at select GLBTQIA groups.