Kristine S. Calleja and Rebie P. Ramoso
On the Radar
By Mikee dela Cruz
PUBLISHED: SEPTEMBER 2009

TWOGETHER. Life partners Kristine S. Calleja and Rebie P. Ramoso traversing the rough roads to Puka Beach in Boracay Island - and the paths of living a life together.

“Kidding aside, we do have a deep love and respect and admiration for each other.  I respect the fact that she has a male crush on Adam Lambert and she respects that I have a male crush on Barack Obama.” Kristine S. Calleja
Rebie P. Ramoso

“I’d like to believe she did the wooing, and she’d like to believe I did the wooing,” Kristine S. Calleja says. “In reality, though, there wasn’t any (who did the wooing).  We didn’t have to.  We already liked each other, and the four years we were best friends made us realize it wasn’t enough for us to be just friends.”

In actuality, the two met in 2002 at Dome (a café) at The Podium for an eyeball meeting, having chatted online for several months. 

“I was in a relationship, and Rebie was recovering from a breakup,” Kristine says – meaning, they couldn’t be together as a couple then, even if “we hit it off the first time we met, and we met up almost weekly afterwards.”

For Rebie, Kristine was “intelligent yet mysterious.  And (she) fell in love with my writing,” Kristine says, adding – with a wink: “I found her attractive in an intelligent and sexy way; plus she was an English teacher that time (a plus for a writer).”
The attraction was put on hold, though, since Kristine was still in a relationship, and Rebie, while single then, “was busy chasing other women,” Kristine says with a smile.

A noteworthy thing about Kristine and Reba’s eventual coming together is its being “by the book.”  “We never really courted anyone, and, as sad as it may seem, we were never really courted by anyone.  All our relationships stem from friendship or, as Rebie’s ex-partner would put it, ‘sweet surrender.’  Our falling for each other was by the book, so to speak,” Kristine says, adding that, “however, this doesn’t mean it wasn’t unique.  It was, because we lived a quarter of our lives having the same circle of friends, and sharing the same interest in art, and going to the same places, and yet not meeting.  It would take the invention of a certain social networking site for us to meet.”

WHY EACH OTHER

Kristine remembers how one of Rebie’s friends asked her, “Why Kristine?” 
“Rebie replied she couldn’t imagine growing old with anyone else other than me.  I felt the same way.  When I finally, finally professed my love for her in 2006, I told her, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you,’” Kristine says. 

Funny thing was, “unfortunately for me then, she understood my declaration as ‘friends forever,’” Kristine laughs.  “It took my message two days to sink in.  The rest, as they say, was history.”

Kristine adds: “There were times before our relationship (when) I tried walking out of our friendship because we were getting too close for comfort.  However, I knew I’d feel that there would be a lack in my life if she weren’t there, and that distressed me because I was in another relationship.  I felt what Jeanette Winterson wrote in Written on the Body: ‘This hole in my heart is in the shape of you.  None one else can fill it, why would I want them to?’  I’m glad I didn’t walk out because it led us into a relationship with each other.  She, on the other hand, says that she knew I was the one for her because every time she would think of the future she would want to see me there.”

Kristine and Rebie’s partnership is now all-encompassing, as the couple runs a creative boutique called Tham & Manuelle, runs an LGBT apparel boutique called Radar Pridewear, offers writing and designing services, develops online and print marketing platforms, and holds the Zero Gravity streetdance theatre workshop (which culminates in a dance play – the latest was a streetdance adaptation of West Side Story, and a dance drama retrospective on the life of a Filipina hero is in preparation). 

FACING CHALLENGES

Things weren’t always as rosy, though.

“In the beginning of our relationship, before we decided to put up a business together, we kept our finances separate.  I couldn’t comment on how she spent her money, even if I wanted to tell her to stop buying clothes every time she would wait for me at the mall after office, and to stop buying a new phone every six months.  Neither could she comment on how I spend my money, even if she wanted to tell me to choose a less expensive cheese or coffee or to forgo butter for margarine, and to dine out less frequently,” Kristine says.  “We knew we had to talk about money; we just didn’t know when.”

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