On PLDT and the Likes...

Love Cringes
By Auntie Cru

My boyfriend of three years has been unemployed for half the time we’ve been together – see, he was working even before finishing his schooling (over three years ago), but he decided to quit as soon as he graduated, claiming to have been drained by the experience, so that, he says, he ought to rest for a while before “doing that ghastly thing” again (his words).
Am I overacting for considering reconsidering our relationship?
P.S.
He doesn’t depend on me financially, as his parents send him allowances until he gets over his supposed phase.

GEORGE M.
Makati City

I’ve started dating this girl who’s been working as a waitress in (an international coffee chain) for some time now.  I quite like her, and that’s despite her “lowly” job, but many of my friends tell me what we have won’t progress into anything more meaningful MAINLY because of her chosen career path (I’m a lawyer, by the way).  Are they right, and, if so, should I just stop; or is there hope for us yet?

D.R. REYES
Cubao, Quezon City

I’ve only recently finished my degree (B.S. Nursing), and have yet to take the board exam, but – even if I think it’s way too early for me to be doing so – my admirers think I should just go steady with one of them, as no time is better than now to have a relationship.  Should I just give in, or should I follow what my guts tell me: WAIT UNTIL I AM ABLE TO PAY FOR MYSELF before going into a relationship?

LOU R.
General Santos City

The expression isn’t exactly new, as it’s been around for some time now: PLDT, i.e. Palamunin Lamang Dahil Tamad.  In not so many words, it refers to bums – yes, those who, even if they can do the complete opposite, would rather not do anything, relying on others for their very existence.

Sad, really, since they don’t move their asses off wherever they’re seated; especially since I know many who would do so, if only they could.

But more than sad, pathetic is the word that suits these people better, since, lacking even the concept of their own worth (in this universe), they choose to be useless, so that, truthfully, they should not exist at all.

Harsh?

Well, I’m not Auntie Cru for cruel for nothing.

Though having said that, it is only cruel when it fits you.

Now, what to do if/when you meet one (or are tempted to be one)?

Firstly, leave.  People who spent, what, four years to get a degree and then not use what they wasted their time on (and the money of whoever sent them to school) are burdensome – then, while they were studying; and now, as your other half.  And yes, that’s even if they have a company named after them – money isn’t the only issue here, it’s the fact that they will do something sans reliance on what’s just provided them.  It’s called independence.  Initiative.  Self-respect.  Pride. Consideration.  Et cetera.

Secondly, if leaving is too painful to do (at least for now), then reconsider – or at least quit justifying for him/her, e.g. NO, IT’S NOT GOING TO BE JUST A PHASE, and YES, HIS/HER PARENTS DIDN’T BRING HIM UP THAT WELL, HE/SHE’S USED TO BEING MORE OF A BURDEN THAN A SUPPORT.  Give yourself the right to doubt what he/she’s offering.

Thirdly, say to him/her what I am telling you.  It has nothing to do with wealth – it has everything to do with character.  If they are so dependent on who can just feed them, they are bound to be burdens.

Fourthly, should you even consider giving second chances?  Oh, alright, do.  If you must.  Here’s the guide question on who to give chances to, though: WHAT’S YOUR ONE-YEAR PLAN?  Oh, we could extend that to two, three, or even more years, but the main thing is, whoever doesn’t have direction now, won’t have anytime soon, i.e. the longer he/she will be burdensome.  So he/she’s a waiter/waitress now, but is that how he/she wants to be in the long-term?  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, mind you – but why be a waiter when you can work to be a café owner yourself?  If he/she wants to take a break, for how long are we talking about?  Nothing wrong with breaks, of course, but if a lifestyle is made from taking a break, you’re not only lazy, you’re psychologically ill, shirking away from responsibilities (even of yourself), and, really, why should anyone waste time on you?  Direction, direction, direction.

And fifthly, learn to choose well, to begin with.  Meaning, the moment you find someone interesting enough to say some words to, talk about his future plans, for goodness’ sake.  Because if things work out, it will be your future, too.  So if you’re a lawyer, why go out with a waitress for life (yes, yes, we’re judging here, but with your friends not wanting to be with someone with a lowly job around, you can’t just dump all of them for life, you know – this is why they say that no man/woman is an island, as we still need to socialize)?  If you’re a doctor, why go out with a nursing student (unless, of course, you’re a cradle snatcher, and are into sending students to school – though on this, there are numerous needy people I can think of you’d be better off sending to school, then just hire a sex worker for your sexual needs)?  And if you’re a socialite (or social climber) unwilling to find REAL job, just go out with someone as pretentious as you – that way, we limit uselessness to few.

Dearies, they say money is not everything. 

They are lying.

Well, at least partially.

Because the truth is, relationships are called such because of the inter-dependence of the people in them.

At least that’s the definition of HEALTHY relationships.

Ruin that arrangement, and what you have may still be a relationship, but it’s a parasitic one.

And if that’s what you want, go get yourself some tapeworms – at least you’ll be skinny, so won’t need to puke to be beautiful anymore.  With this, they may be disgusting, but they sure have better function than PLDTs!

Auntie Cru is a 40ish self-described “opinionated bitch” out to give her opinions on everything to those brave enough to ask for them. “At least I give them the summarized, no-frills, un-beautified truth,” she said, “and that's more than anybody can ask for in this PR-filled sucker of a world!”