Soft Spot for the Soft Heart
(Good, Sans the Clichés)
By M.D. dela Cruz Tan

Growing up gay, I remember being told time and again that I could still become straight – that is, WHEN I MEET THE RIGHT WOMAN (!).  This idea is based on the notions that:

• Marrying is only for non-homosexual people;
• Homosexuals can’t possibly do “it” with people of the opposite sex, as they only go for people of their same sex – i.e. if a homosexual person did do “it” with someone of the opposite sex, then he/she is really not homosexual; and
• Homosexuality can be cured (read: homosexuals can be non-homosexuals).

I thought this belief already lived its days, what with all the advances made for gay rights (Hey, we’re already allowed to marry in predominantly Roman Catholic Spain, aren’t we?  And to think we sourced our Roman Catholicism from them!).  Alas, I was proven wrong time and again, with many still believing I can be “changed” if I, finally, marry a woman.  Alas, too, I’m not the only one experiencing this.

Pusong Mamon (1998)		Which is why a film like Pusong Mamon is relevant – warts and all! Directed by Joel Lamangan (co-directed by Eric Quizon, who helped finish the film when Lamangan suffered a heart stroke), the film tells the story of a gay couple (Quizon, playing a chef, with Albert Martinez, the office type) whose life was changed by the entry of a woman (Lorna Tolentino) impregnated by one of them. Why the film works? First, for its assertion that “gay-ness” can’t be changed – not even after having sex/doing “it” with a woman, or even actually fathering a child – for as long as a person self-identifies as such.  Thank goodness that, no, he (Martinez’s character) didn’t become straight, or even bisexual just because of a one-night stand with a woman that impregnated her! Secondly, for dealing with gay fatherhood – there are many who gay men who father children, following the non-homosexual mantra of having someone to look after them when they’re already old, so it’s interesting to see in film how the coming of a child can affect gay relationships (e.g. in Pusong Mamon, how should the child call the gay partner who didn’t father the child?).
Director: Joel Lamangan Co-Director: Eric Quizon Cast: Lorna Tolentino Eric Quizon Albert Martinez Caridad Sanchez Jake Roxas Tony Mabesa Matthew Mendoza

And thirdly, for attempting to offer even just a glimpse of the complexity of gay life – e.g. no, gay people do not necessarily play man-woman roles when in relationships (thus, it’s interesting to note Lamangan’s addition of the baffled neighbors who wanted to know how the man-man, and then man-man-woman relationships work); and, yes, even now, there are still many, many closeted homosexuals (e.g. they can even include your father, similar to Martinez’s boss, played by Tony Mabesa).
Stressing on why the film works doesn’t mean it is not without flaws.

For one, there’s that annoying musical scene (the three leads break into a song and dance routine), seemingly a must-have for feel-good Filipino movies, no matter that they’re really irrelevant.  One reviewer once said the scene is “an insult to the memory of the Fred Astaire/Ginger Roger/Cyd Charisse/Michael Wilding musical movies.”  And though I won’t go that far, it did make the film, and thus the story, more fantastical than true, so that while the narrative can happen in a film, they do not happen in real life.

Secondly, it still plays with the stereotypes, e.g. Why did Quizon’s character have to be pa-girl (effeminate)?  It’s as if even the filmmakers had to give in, in a way, to the non-homosexual “demand” of having someone play woman, and another a man, in a relationship, even if it’s a gay one.  Plus there’s the title, of course, which, even if it was done unintentionally, promoted what gay rights advocates are trying to change: the perspective that gay people are “soft,” since non-homosexuals are “hard.”  This is so... ‘70s, it’s time to move on.

And thirdly, there’s the under-use of talents, e.g. Caridad Sanchez, playing Quizon’s grandmother, was reduced to playing her caricature self, when her character could have been developed more (out or not, we all have someone we turn to who knows of our gay-ness completely – Sanchez was this for Quizon, and we would have loved knowing more about her thoughts, et cetera).

When Pusong Mamon was released, it was said to be “nothing more than a contrivance, a fantasy whose improbability turns it into a pipe dream that will forever be unattainable.”  I’d have to disagree.  Yes, it is still too fantastical to believe – but then again, much like Will & Grace, said to have been made as a story about the gay community for the non-gay market, Pusong Mamon had to be made to get as many to watch it, considering it’s a mainstream movie – even in these supposedly enlightened times.  But what happened in the film, or at least parts of the big picture, are actually taking place for real now, so that it is no longer unattainable.  THERE ARE GAY MEN LIVING WITH THEIR PARTNERS, LIVING WITH CHILDREN whose mothers are living with other men.  Probably not as luxuriously, or as friendly, or as chirpy as in Pusong Mamon (now there’s a dream, if ever there’s one), but they exist.

True, this is not The Wedding Banquet, even with the similarities.  This is not even The Next Best Thing (think Rupert Everett).  But, I guess, this is, at least, leaps ahead of Pacifica Falayfay (interestingly, played by Quizon’s real life father, Dolphy) or Petrang Kabayo (Roderick Paulate, hello!) characters.