You Want Your Best Friend?

Love Cringes
By Auntie Cru

My best friend, Lucy, has been such since we were in (an all girls school in Quezon City) from way, way back – she has been my foundation (in everything), considering that, with everything happening in my life, from coming out to settling down in a lesbian-friendly job to finding my first love to breaking up to finding my almost-partner to breaking up again, she was (and always has been) the one constant.
A few days ago, though, a realization dawned on me – I think I am in love with Lucy all along, and I was too busy living my chaotic life to have acknowledged this fact until now.
And now I am in a dire condition – do I tell her how I really feel (she’s still single all these years, after all) and risk our friendship (you know what people say about going after your own friends…), or just shut up and appreciate she’s been always there for me?
Help, please…

JANICE R.
Makati City

When my Dad was assigned to work in Metro Manila sometime in the later part of the 1990s, we were forced to leave Marbel (South Cotabato) to settle in Makati City (where I have been based since then), leaving lives we have somehow/somewhat established for ourselves (especially me and my elder sister) in Mindanao, e.g. where we went to school since kindergarten, the social circles we formed for as long as we could, then, remember, et cetera.
I especially was somewhat devastated (then, especially) because I had to leave my best friend Eric. B – he was like the brother I never had, and never did have, so losing him was difficult.
And then I caught up with Eric B. again, since he is now also based in Metro Manila.  Being with him is almost like it was in the past – e.g. sharing stories only we two seem to find funny (even after all these years…), keeping each others’ secrets (I already came out to him), helping each other out in whatever ways we can (I hosted him when he just moved to Makati City), et cetera.
My issue is I may be feeling for Eric B. more than I once did.
What do I do?

ROLLY P.
SAV, Makati City

My boyfriend says I should be dating my best friend – I talk a lot about him, run to him when I need something (from cash to advice to borrowing outfits), prefer his company when I go out to watch movies or dine out or something, et cetera.
I think he is being silly.
But truth be told, I did – and occasionally still do – fantasize about my buddy.
Would I be better off dumping my boyfriend, just as he insinuates, and go after my best friend; or am I being stupid, and learn to be more a partner to my boyfriend, instead of preferring my buddy over him (at least so he says all the time)?
Help!

JUN-JUN C.
Quezon City

Sex changes everything.

That is a given in all kinds of relationships – heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, asexual, whatever. There’s just no way you’d look at your maid of honor the same way again after eating her pussy – or, for that matter, your son’s godfather after you had his dick up your ass.

Sex changes everything.

Now whether that change is good or bad, that largely depends on you.
It can be good because you may – take note: MAY – just be taking your relationship to the next level, i.e. he can buy your dildos for you, now can he use it with you?  After all, the basis of any good relationship (or, if not basis, at least what will keep it going strong) is the bond of friendship between/among those in that relationship.  If the friendship is strong, then theoretically (THEORETICALLY), so should a “deeper” relationship arising from that relationship be.  Remember what those couples who’ve been together 50 years say? “She’s my best friend” or “He’s the closest person to me” or thoughts flowing in the same vein.  So, yes, becoming more than friends MAY be good.

But even dreaming it can be bad, too, simply because, hello, you do not fuck your friends – literally and figuratively.  Well, let’s be honest here, maybe I did now and then; but it doesn’t mean you should, too – particularly since I fucked them before we really became friends (test fuck, I call it), and the friendship is borne by the fuck (I hope so!).  Truth be told, I am not sure I want my friend Gina’s pussy on my face – NOT after I saw things go into it, come out of it, play on and inside it (I wouldn’t have minded eating it before all those…)… And truth be told, I am not sure she’d want me to do that either – NOT after she saw my tongue playing here and there, doing this or that, licking yuck and yum… If one of us did that to the other, I am sure we won’t look at each other the same way again, because, simply, there are limits to friendship – and it usually includes not eating each other.

I am not saying you should do or not do what I am doing.

I am simply saying the option is yours.

If your relationship is based on sex, then be fucking friends (not just fuck buddies – more impersonal since you’re both just tapping each other for a quick lay on the hay).  This one works, for as long as you know the limits of the relationship you are forming/having.

If your relationship has the Y Tu Mama Tambien feel, then just fuck already – rid yourselves of the unrequited lust with each other.  Take note, though, how the movie ended – something that can happen to a friendship you think will survive hell or high water…

If your relationship has the Love Me If You Dare feel, just fuck already, too; and then be re-born as more than just friends who happened to have done “it.”  Well, it worked for Marion Cotillard and for Guillaume Canet, didn’t it?

In the first place, should you even tell of your changed feelings for him/her?
If you think you two would be better for it, do.  If not, don’t.  Truth can set you free, yes; but silence can be golden, too.

So you want your friend, still?

Note: SEX CHANGES EVERYTHING.

Auntie Cru is a 40ish self-described “opinionated bitch” out to give her opinions on everything to those brave enough to ask for them. “At least I give them the summarized, no-frills, un-beautified truth,” she said, “and that's more than anybody can ask for in this PR-filled sucker of a world!”