The Making of a Wine Snob
By Kiki Tan

To look really chic drinking wine is easy – very easy, in fact.  When given a glass of wine, lift it by the stem (no, no, do not cup it!).  Swirl it, gently, in circular motion.  Sniff the wine.  Then take a sip, carefully.  Don’t immediately swallow, keeping the wine in the mouth.  After taking it in, COMPLAIN, e.g. say “It’s too sweet to my liking,” or “This is way too dry for me.”  This done, you are sure to create an impression you’re some sort of a wine snob (well, unless you’re too obvious, saying the wine’s too sweet when it’s really dry).

ACQUIRED TASTE? Perhaps - but the appreciation of wine is, truly, one to be experienced.

Going beyond faking, though, since being a wine snob can only go so far if you don’t know much about what you’re talking about, it’s good to actually know some things about wine.  This will guarantee that when somebody actually dares to question your wine snobbishness, you actually have something to say.  It’s the substance, more than just the look – the body of the wine, so to speak, not just its color.

Not that learning about wine is easy – a thought that should serve as a warning, and a challenge, at the same time.

“Not the lack of information, but too much information that baffles and bewilders those who seek simple guidance to gustatory pleasure is largely responsible for this mystery.  Millions of words are written and spoken in praise and explanation of wine without an explanation of the explanations.  Meanwhile the product itself becomes increasingly entangled in a maze of overlapping type names, geographical designations, vintages, and general mumbo jumbo so confusing that it is quite unintelligible to 99 out of 100 storekeepers and restaurateurs who sell the product,” notes Sarah Martin, a freelance marketing writer based out of San Diego, California – the American capital, in so many ways, in wineaccess.com.

She stresses, however, that “much of wine's complexity can be blamed on its charm. Its romantic qualities, possessed by no other food or drink, receive so much attention that they tend to obscure its simple function as a beverage.”
And just a beverage is what it is, that absolutely anyone can get to know.

A quick guide on wines from John Grey, writing for EZineArticles.com:

On white wines (in a nutshell), the kinds include: White Zinfadel (“Fruity and easy to drink.  This is probably the easiest wine to start off with.  Really more of a Rosé than a white,” Grey says); Chenin Blanc, Sauvignon Blanc (“These are dry, slightly fruity, and sometimes carry hints of oak”); Chardonnay (“Fruity with a hint of oak.  Often said to have a buttery flavour”); and Pinot Grigio/Pinot Gris (“Medium to full bodied with floral overtones.  Some will have a fruity taste, some will have a peppery bite”).

On red wines (also in a nutshell), the kinds include: Pinot Noir (“Medium bodied, fruity, and peppery,” Grey says); Syrah (Taste of “berries, cherry, chocolate, peppery”); Merlot (“Medium bodied.  Slight hints of fruit, floral, and peppery; and some hints of vanilla and oak”); and Cabernet Savignon (“Full bodied.  Hints of fruit, floral, and peppery.  Some will taste of oak and tobacco”).

The thing to remember with wines is it is subjective – people may say what you’re drinking is cheap, but if you like it, really, stick with it.  Nobody questions many people’s preference for beer – and specific brands at that, too – so you shouldn’t, generally, be questioned, too.

But since there are numerous types from numerous places, keeping an open mind is always best – you may like French now (Joan Collins said she won’t have them), but unless you try, you wouldn’t know Australia may have better wines.  Or perhaps California.  Or Chile.  Or even Laguna!

And since wine drinking is subjective, the days of pairing specific food with specific wines ONLY are long gone, at least generally speaking.  Meaning, just because you’re having white wine, doesn’t mean you should only eat white meat (e.g. fish, chicken); and just because you’re having red wine, then you should only eat red meat (e.g. beef).  If that were so, pescetarians and vegetarians and vegans wouldn’t be drinking wine – but yes, we can and do, when we feel like it.

“While often times the respective wines will pair better that way, sometimes a glass of red wine tastes best with fish, and a glass of white wine with meat.  The beauty of wine is that you will find your own favorities to have when and with what, and you will have fun doing it your way,” Grey says.

Worried about the glass to use?  In a way you should, because the glass you use can actually impact the flavour of the wine, so that “white wines are best served out of glasses designed for white wines and red wines are best served out of glasses designed for red wines,” explains David Beart, owner of professorshouse.com.
Not to worry, though, since all-purpose wine glasses – tulip shaped, and can hold approximately eight to 12 ounces of wine.  It’s when turning serious that further knowing the specific glasses to use becomes beneficial (Note: “There are specific types of glasses that you may be interested in purchasing if you enjoy a particular type of wine on a regular basis.  You do not necessarily need a special glass for each type of wine, but if you routinely enjoy a particular wine and you have the storage and budget, then you may be interested,” Beart adds).

Glasses for white wines have narrow mouths, allowing the wine to “maintain its chilled temperature. The reduced surface area of the glass does not allow air to permeate the wine as much as it does in a wide mouthed red wine glass. The reduced amount of air means that the air will not warm the wine. The smaller bowl of the glass also means that there is less contact by the heat of the hand, which can also warm the wine,” Beart says.

Meanwhile, red wine glasses are “usually noted as having a large bowl and wide mouth.  They have a large and round bowl, which allows the wine to breathe, which brings out the different aromas that the wine has to offer.  Allowing the red wine to sit in the glass will have a similar effect that decanting has on a wine. These glasses are tall and shoot the wine straight to the back of your mouth where most red wines will react with the back of the palate,” Beart continues.

Other glasses: for Chardonnay, glasses have narrow rim to help direct the wine to the middle of the palate; Sangiovese and Riesling glasses have a smaller bowl and even narrower rim (mainly because these are consumed as desser wines, so only consumed in small quantities); and the Burgundy glasses, which have larger bowls to allow the wine to cool after it is exposed to the warmth of the hand.
And go for clear glasses when buying, will you?  You can’t be a snob – or even pretend to be one – if your glass is obviously of low quality you can’t even see clearly through it.

“The homage paid to wine is richly deserved.  As the blood of the grape, bestowed by nature with the magic power to create happiness, it has sacred religious symbolism. Its beginnings are lost in antiquity; its ancient history is traced from the hieroglyphics of Egypt and Babylon, from the writings of Greek and Roman poets and from no less than one hundred and 65 references in the Bible.  But philosophers and physicians have sung wine's praises since the dawn of civilization, as an adjunct to life, health, and happiness,” Martin says.  “Modern gourmets and authors of cookbooks praise it as an inseparable companion of fine foods. Through all the ages of man it has been associated with feasting, philosophy, art, music, and love.”